Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Does it ever bother you when you know someone is being fake or inauthentic toward you or others or in their relationship with God? I know it bothers me, especially when I see those I care about being inauthentic towards others or in their relationship with God. Back when I was in my small group called Nui Ohana someone gave me this framed letter from God. The person was anonymous and to this day I do not know who personalized these and framed them. It's called the "Father's Love Letter." In the letter it describes the cry of the Father's heart from Genesis to Revelation for us. I think some people could look at it and read and not think too much of it. I believe we often take for granted the love God has for us and we do not walk in what and who He has called us to be. I know that I am guilty of this, more so in my past. One of things that I've learned over the past several months is God's love for His people and especially for myself. Sometimes it's hard to come to grips with the love that God has for me. It's hard to receive it, I'm scared of it. I'm scared of God's love sometimes...Before I go deeper into this I want to actually share what is in the Father's Love letter. Here it is:

You may not know me, 

but I know everything about you. 

Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. 

Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. 

Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. 

Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. 

Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. 

Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. 

Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. 

Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, 

for all your days are written in my book. 

Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth 

and where you would live. 

Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. 

Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. 

Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented 

by those who don't know me.

John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, 

but am the complete expression of love. 

1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 

1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child 

and I am your Father. 

1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. 

Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. 

Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. 

James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. 

Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. 

Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless 

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. 

Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. 

Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. 

Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul. 

Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. 

Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, 

you will find me. 

Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you 

the desires of your heart. 

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. 

Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you 

than you could possibly imagine. 

Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you 

in all your troubles. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, 

I am close to you. 

Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, 

I have carried you close to my heart. 

Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away 

every tear from your eyes. 

Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain 

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you 

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. 

John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. 

Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, 

not against you. 

Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression 

of my love for you. 

1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love. 

Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, 

you receive me. 

1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you 

from my love again.

Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party 

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, 

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…

Will you be my child? 

John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. 

Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

As I am reading this with tears down my face, the reality of God's love is overwhelming. Listen to this, JESUS DIED SO THAT GOD AND US, YOU AND GOD, COULD BE RECONCILED. Our Daddy, the father, wants to be in relationship with us. That was THE whole point to God sending down His son to die for us and our sins so that we may be made pure, justified, and sanctified and could walk in the righteousness of our Lord. Part of doing that is walking in the spirit. Jesus sent us a helper! The Holy Spirit! He is so amazing! Our God, the father loves us! And He is just waiting for us to let Him! When we do not allow God to love us and define who we are when we have received Christ, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we act in sin, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we do not love others, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we do not believe, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we are not walking in the calling God has on our lives, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we hide in shame, guilt, and/or fear, we are being INAUTHENTIC. When we worry constantly and don't trust the Father, we are being INAUTHENTIC. This is what Jesus died for; for us be able to be authentic in our relationship with God the Father and to operate out of the truth through the Holy Spirit because of Jesus' death! This is AHMAZING! There is such a focus these days on being real and legit, but we are not engaging in the truth that God has revealed to us for us to be able to say we are being real, legit, authentic. Listen to what the Father says in the letter. Look at each verse and take it for its true value, weight, and worth. God wants to lavish on us! He wants to throw us the biggest party ever! I mean think of the best party you have ever went to...I bet millions, that the party Jesus throws is going to be billions times better than that. Think about too what it means to be loved. What does that feel like? I think I can say I know what it's like to feel loved. It feels good, amazing, it's indescribable! When you get a taste of it, you want to hold onto it forever...even loving someone. Think of when you have loved someone...what if that person did not love you back? That hurts, it's painful. There have been times in my life where I have screamed, "God, I just want to be able to love this person and they won't let me!" Then I heard God say, "I know how you feel." It pains the Lord to not be able to love and bless you and make you feel like you're in heaven with Him right now! He wants to blow your mind. He wants to love you til the ends of the earth!! And most of us say, "No thanks, God." Talk about being rejected. Thankfully God can take this.  His love is so great and He is so perfect...His love is perfect. This is the truth of the Lord. God is good. He has made you good. When you die to yourself (put down the flesh) and receive His son Jesus, God transforms you! He makes you into a new creation. He has opened the prison door! He has made you pure. He has made you new. He has qualified you. He has justified you. He has sanctified you. He has made you righteous! But we don't believe it. So we sit in our jail cells continuing to agree with Satan that we suck, that we are a hopeless case, that we can't break free from the bondage of sin, that we aren't forgiven, that we can't really walk in the Freedom and fullness of God, that we are not pure, that we need to have control, that we are illegitimate, that we don't have the ability or the power to bring God's kingdom, that we aren't special or anointed, that what we experience isn't really real (it's just a delusion), that we are bitter and there's nothing to be done about it, that you can never conquer your addictions, that we are not His...This pains me and it pains God. When we do this, we are being INAUTHENTIC and we are not walking in the truth that sets us free. This is what Jesus DIED for: For us to have a great relationship with the Lord like He does! We have access to the father (and His power) because of Jesus! Believe that you are loved, believe that what the word says about you is really what the words says! God wants to lavish His love upon you! Don't be scared. Engage with God and learn what it really means to be authentic in your relationship with God and in your relationship with others. God loves you, He wants to spend time with you, and He wants to bless you! All you have to do is take a risk. Open your heart. Invite the Holy Spirit to take you on an adventure with God! And let God love and bless you (which is practically the same thing)! Come to Him, He is just waiting to love you and tell you how much He does! Now read the letter again and soak in the truth and love that God wants to reveal to you!

Why Do We Continue to Put God in a Box?

So I am really bad at consistently posting in this blog, but God continues to inspire me and speak to me and I do really hope to post more often. Just putting that out.

Today was so dreary and rainy just like yesterday and days just like this I tend to get down a little bit. Because of the Christmas season the radio station I usually listen to is only playing Christmas songs, and old Christmas songs (if you can probably guess I listen to 104.9 The River). For some reason I am not as pumped up about Christmas. For some reason I guess ths songs remind of the commercialism of it all and the more realization that Christmas is full of idolization. That's a topic for another day!  Anyways, becuase I don't care to listen to Christmas music all day, I started listening to 91.5 and was I glad I did! For those of you who don't know, this is another Christian radio station that also has teachings/sermons.  Today God revealed me to me amazing revelations through the teachings that made me want to ask, "Why do we continue to put God in a box?" Why do we limit what and who God is in our lives and how we can relate to him.

The first broadcast I was able to listen to talked about Joshua and the day that God had the sun stand still I believe after a battle. Now this is a phenomenon that most people have a hard time believing and find it astonishing. What is interesting is that science, yes SCIENCE!, in the field of astronomy, has evidence of day missing in the solar calandar (meaning a day where there was no night). The person went on to say that astronomy professors could not explain this mystery. Then someone told a certain professor to read the Bible. He responded by saying that he doesn't believe in the Bible. Well the person told him to read it anyway and he did. What he found was that the day Joshua commanded to sun to stand still and God responded that it only accounted for 23 hours and 20 minutes and did not account for the last 40 minutes in the 24 hour period that was missing from solar history. The professor was not convinced, so he was told to keep reading. Later in the Bible, it is recorded in 2 Kings that Isaiah as a sign to Hezikiah to turn the sun backward 10 degrees, which accounts for the last 40 minutes missing. I found this amazing! Now, I did a search in Google and there are those that say it's urban legend, but you can listen to the broadcast yourself and hear the evidence that the speaker presents: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/love-worth-finding/

I just found it amazing and felt inspired.

The second broadcast I listened to talked about David and the struggle with lonliness and depression. What I find interesting is that in Psalm 142, David demonstrates exactly how to deal with lonliness, depression and feelings of hopelessness. I encourage you to read it here:

Psalm 142

¹ I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
² I pour out before him my complaint;
before him I tell my trouble.

³ When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
people have hidden a snare for me.
⁴ Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

⁵ I cry to you, LORD;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”

⁶ Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
⁷ Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

I love this because what I have found in reading this passage is exactly how I felt God's leading in releasing pain to Him. If anything, this is to encourage you let your emotions be known to God. Tell him how you are feelings and He will take you from where you are to where you to need to be. Also, by releasing the pain to God, He can come in and reveal truth and give you comfort. You have to allow God in, in order for Him to move! Do not be afraid to talk to God like He's your friend or your mom for that matter. He is a friend to us and he will meet you where you are and is faithful to come to you if you allow Him to and listen for his voice. This Psalm teaches us how to approach God and experience freedom from depression and loneliness and come to the one person who can truly relieve your emotional pain and hopelessness. I know and have experienced this personally and because I have been able to do this God has brought me amazing freedom and joy in my darkest moments, where I am in gut-wrenching emotional pain. Let Him wrap his arms around you, love you, and heal the emotional pain that you have and won't let surface because it seems unbearable. To listen to this broadcast go here: http://www.davidjeremiah.org/site/radio_player.aspx?id=

Hope it's as encouraging to you as it was to me! Just so you know the broadcasts are less than a 1/2 hour!

God Bless Yo!  Love ya'll!

Uhhhmph!

So it has been a long time since I posted something. That last post was from a long time ago that I just posted! Anyways...a lot has happened since then and I even stopped running because life became so busy and these past 9 months have included extreme emotional upheaval for me and I did not feel like myself until more recently, Praise the Lord. Now I am back to running again and as usual God uses that time to speak to me and I am currently in a place more accepting of where God has me in my walk with Him, Praise the Lord again! On several occasions in the last couple of months or so, God really pointed out to me the discipline and pain I am able to endure while I run. I actually embrace it and take joy in the discipline and pain that ensues when trying to get in shape for running because I know and trust that the outcome will be far better than the journey or process. On the other hand, I struggle immensely with the discipline that God tries to instill in me where the outcome again will be far better than the process. Often I reject it and act out like a child who is disobedient to their parent. Rather pathetic actually, if you think about it! Hahahaha! Anyways, in speaking to me about discipline, God was relating the discipline He uses and compared it to other areas of my life where I endure and accept discipline. He was showing me that His discipline is very similar and only for my benefit. I have had a hard time still accepting His discipline. I say, "But God your discipline is so much more painful. I feel like I can't take it and it's just so much easier to stay where I am at...How come I have to go through all this to enhance my relationship with you?!" I am a stubborn woman. People who know me well will tell you that and I like to do things on my timetable and at a pace that is in my control. God has been challenging this in me. I used to get everything I wanted. Lately, not a chance. This year has presented with failure, after failure, and thankfully ended with God's faithfulness in all the matters. God has also been so good in his discipline as much as I have not liked it. I know that God is jealous for me and wants a deeper relationship with me and He is moving me towards Him and sometimes He has to break the leg of His lamb so that she will follow and depend on Him. I was just hoping He wouldn't have to do that to me! But like I said...I'm stubborn, also foolish, and completely incapable without Him!

Glow! Week 2

*The Creator versus the imitator (Satan)*

June 13th, 2010

For this week we read 1 John 2: 10-11; 15-17:

"10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

"15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world--the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions--is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

This week Joel talked about how we are not to be of the world. He said that there is the creator (which is God) and then there is the imitator (Satan), and so there are two plans on this earth: the creator's and the imitator's. In the beginning there was 1 plan: God's intent for us was to first love Him and then to love others. With the fall, in came into picture a second plan: Satan's plan, which was to love ourselves or to only focus on ourselves. The fundamental difference between these plans is that one involves living for and with others, while the second involves living only for oneself.

By stepping into a relationship with God, we take one more step into his plan for us. Joel here used a ladder to show how when we enter relationship with Jesus, we take the first step toward our heavenly father and his will. Once this occurs, we find that God starts to illuminate the darkness (sin) in our lives and as we are filtered of the things of this world and step away from the imitator's plan, we start to look more like Him. So, when we lose our sin we start to look like Him. It is here where we can start live our creator's plan of living for and loving others according to God's will.

I absolutely love how Joel gives this visualization of stepping into a relationship with Jesus with a ladder, which represents God's plan. Once we step onto the ladder we can never get off, but we can determine how high or how close we get to our father in heaven, until the day our bodies die and we are perfected. So, as we take more steps toward God the more he illuminates the darkness and rids of it and the closer we get to Jesus and God the father.

God tells us to not love the world nor the things of this world - this follows within the imitator's plan. By abiding in the father, we remain in his plan, in his will. We must see, sense, and say (bring to light) these things that are of the flesh and of the eyes and are of pride in possessions. John tells us not love the things/plan of the enemy. We must ask ourselves: Do I have the lust of the flesh, do I have the lust of the eyes, and do I boast of the prideful things in my life? It is here where God can reveal to us the things of the world in our lives. It is here where we can begin to see the darkness that needs to be brought to light and recognized God's plan and steer clear of the imitator's plan.

~ Kara

Glow! Week 1

*Everywhere you go gives you a chance to glow!*

June 6th, 2010

For the past two weeks at New Albany church, my pastor has been doing a series called Glow! I am just loving it so far. During the first week (2 Sundays ago from this day), he talked about when one steps into a relationship with God, therein begins joy. We then have light and because we have light, there is no room for darkness or sin, and because there is no room for darkness, we experience conflict. A war starts to stir where the light meets the darkness and exposes it. This is where we can come to confess the darkness with in us and if we continue to weed out the darkness, then all that is left is LIGHT! And so we GLOW, glow the light and love of Jesus. In order to expose and get rid of the darkness, there is a need for confession. I love the way that Joel defined confession. I think there is a lot of negative connotation for the word "Confession." I don't know about you, but confession is scary. To me it means, you reveal the sin in your life, what is bad to others. But Joel's definition of confession seemed a little less scary. He said, "Confession means to say the same thing that God says about your sin...It's speaking in unison about your sin with God. I don't know about you, but I love this, what is a new take for me on confession. It's coming to an agreement on what darkness is in your life. Many times we go walking around and don't realize the darkness that dwells within us, so it hides and oh does it hide well. By recognizing and revealing that darkness in agreement with God, we can then ask God to remove that darkness from our live. And you see, God hates sin/darkness, He detests it. You know why? Because it is not good and separates you from Him. God wants to be with you, to love you, to grow in you, to be loved and worshiped by you and for you to love others as he's loved you. I find this amazing. It's so simple, but so relevant. Sometimes as Christians grow and maybe become weary, they want something deeper, something more profound. It's like the simple known truth isn't good enough anymore. I love hearing new ways to learn about God and new perspectives on getting know him and how to grown in a relationship with him. It's humbling and creates a deeper understanding of God for me. I love taking somewhat "simple" messages and going deeper on my own. And that's what I'm doing here. The verse that we read from during this week was 1 John 1:1-10 and is as follows:

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life--the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us--that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. if we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his work is not in us."

I just challenge those who read this to meditate over this word and let the Lord speak to you on a personal level about what He wants you to take from this passage. As my boyfriend Branden would say, "Get out your Bible and read the physical words on the page that way you can underline and really take in the word." If you are lazy like me, feel free to just read it here, but there is something about taking out your Bible and reading it for yourself (I apologize for any typos).

My Oh My...

So...I haven't written a blog since the beginning of the year and my has time gone by. I survived 2 quarters and managed to not completely go insane. Recently I have been thinking of my negligence to my blog and have now decided, with more free time on my hands, to start it back up. I have been attending New Albany Church, a church that birth March 21st, 2010. This past Sunday, I felt that God was calling me back to this blog and use it for his glory and talk about the things that I learn Sunday morning through my lead pastor Joel Kovacs. His sermons, although somewhat basic, really speak to me and Joel speaks truth in a new, refreshing way and I have decided that I am going to blog about what I am learning through the leadership of my pastor Joel. I want what God is saying to surpass just those who attend church at NAC and share with my own community the way God is speaking through this young man and what he is teaching and growing in me at this new church. God has some things to say to His children in a new way and I want to share it with you all. I will continue this blog later in the week and tell you more! Get excited because I am!

Much love and God bless,

Kara

A New Day, A New Year

Today is New Years Eve. I am excited as I get to spend it with my boyfriend and best friends. With all the people I have talked to today, most have stated that they think this year is going to be even better than the last and that it's going to be a good year for them and they all seem to look forward to it. Me, on the other hand, I am somewhat dreading the New Year. God has me in a season where I am attending school and all I can think of is how stressful the new year is going to be. I'll be doing an internship, which I have never done before and I have to complete what seems like massive amounts of paperwork and I am not entirely sure how to complete the paperwork when I look at it. Some of them are easy, but others not so much. I am also to do a weekly journal and I have no idea what that's going to look like. Two of my days are going to be 12 hour days 8-8 and in reality add 2 hours to that for travel time. I think to myself "How am I going to do this, and still remain sane?" Last quarter was stressful enough! All I can ask for is God's grace in these moments and humble myself. I know that I cannot do this on my own, even though I know I am going to try to because that's how I tend to be in situations like this that seem to me to have a lot of control factors that I will want and feel the need to control. Thankfully I will have my friends, family, and boyfriend to level me out! Please pray for me as I start the new year. I love God so much, and I need his help and knowing my sinful ways, I will try to do this on my own. Pray that acquire the attitude of humility and forfeit my pride through the new year.

One my leaders of my small group gave me this book Humility: True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney. In it he writes "Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him." When you define pride in this way, man oh man, it puts into perspective what exactly you are doing when you are being prideful. This really helps to see how infectious pride can be. It is the first sin and the root of probably every sin that we commit. What's the "cure" for pride? Humility, of course, the most obvious answer! But having true humility and knowing that you are nothing without God, He gives us grace. I have learned that it is this state of humility that God gives us his grace and can transform our hearts!! Amazing grace! I love God so much and I can't wait for him to show me more ways to be humble and how to live it truly. Because right now, pride is not doing me much good other than making stressed! I pray that you too can explore in your heart where pride exists and become humble before the Lord. It is only then can we achieve true greatness in his eyes! I pray for everyone to have their eyes open to this concept, if they already are not, and just a continuance of God's grace and purification of your heart and mine! Praise the Lord!

Tomorrow, Branden and I leave for Atlanta, Georgia for the Passion Conference. I have never been before and feel excited and unsure at the same to go. Mostly excited though. It took me awhile to get to the point of excitement, but I know that God will show up and will do amazing things through me and in me, and also for others. That, in itself, will be exciting. To see what he is doing in others around the world that are my age. It will be great to see! Please pray for safe travels and God's manifested presence in others at the conference and also for Branden and I. We need the Lord so much and I can't wait for him to transform us even more! There will be lots of crying, which I am not looking forward too, but oh well!

I wish everyone a Happy New Year, actually I pray that everyone in the New Year will receive Joy and Peace from our Lord Jesus Christ!

God bless!